It snowed again. What's with the idiots on the road in their big SUVs that think they can just plow down the road without any regard whatsoever for the other drivers? Today, I was the fifth car following the snowplow/sander down a busy two lane highway. We were in the left lane. There was no passing because the plow had a plume of shit (snow, slush and God knows what, maybe sand) that it was throwing off into the right lanes. Unless you wanted your car doused with the crap, you'd be an idiot to try to get ahead of it. And besides, who wants to get ahead of the plow when it's clearing the road as it goes along, making it safer for you to drive? But, no, every so often, there was some ass who would try to pass the plow in the right lane and invariably, got completely deluged by the plume. You could literally hear the snow, ice and slush just pummel into the side and top of their vehicle, even five cars behind. One car was so plowed with crap, it nearly went off the road. And, truthfully, you couldn't help but smile and say, "What the hell were you thinking would happen, you freakin' jerk!" or something of the sort.
While I was cautiously driving and listening to the local news station, some girl called and said she didn't know what the "big deal" was, "it's not that much snow" and she didn't know why the parkway was "so backed up." She then boasted that she was on her way "up North to spend the day snowboarding." The radio host asked what she was driving and she said "a Suburban." So, we the listeners all knew that here was a spoiled brat who probably doesn't even hold a job, whose parents have given her a large SUV, that she was carelessly barrelling down the parkway in, totally unaffected and unconcerned about anyone else on the road, regardless of their age or what type of vehicle they were driving. I wanted to scream, "You're probably the dipshit who caused the massive multicar accident on the parkway that caused it to back up about seven miles, you damn brat!" Apparently, I wasn't the only listener who became incensed as others began calling in, spewing off digs about this girl's attitude, especially those callers who had already been delayed an hour or so by the horrendous road conditions during their commute. Admittedly, I found myself hoping that any moment she'd call back and announce that she'd been sideswiped by a plow and that her snowboard smashed her windshield after being rammed up her butt and shot out through her left nostril. Or something. But, I know, you should never wish bad things on people.
It's like the moron who doesn't sweep off the snow from the top of their vehicle so that while driving down the road, suddenly their Mount Everast flies off, smashing into your windshield and blinding you for a moment while hopefully, not breaking your wipers. "Hey, jerk!" you want to yell, "Why don't you have your damn Honor Student clean off your car before you take it on the road!" You know the type. They have the cute little stick family stickers on their back windshield, sometimes with a cat or a dog. And a Jesus fish.
I'm always astounded by the people who are so self-absorbed on the road during hazardous weather. Usually, bad weather brings out the best in people. They shovel walkways for old ladies. They drive carefully, not just because they want to safely get to where they're going, but they sincerely want you to as well. They push and rock and shovel out vehicles that get stuck in the snow or plowed in. They sometimes freeze their own butts off to help other people. It's a "coming together" against the elements kind of mentality. We're all in this together, may as well help out those less fortunate. I always tell the gas attendants to "try to stay warm today." So, when I see people who are less than courteous, I am aghast. Most of them are on the roads. Most of them are in SUVs. I have a SUV. I'm short. I'm very short. I know it's difficult to get the snow off the top of my vehicle. That's why I married someone who is tall. And, if he's not around, that's what brooms are for. It's awkward, yes. It's unpleasant, I know. But, it's the law. I wouldn't own such a vehicle if I didn't have a tall husband or a broom.
At the same token, I don't understand the rush. Everyone knows it snowed. Everyone knows road conditions are bad. Everyone is running late. Bosses know their employees will arrive late or, in some instances, not at all. Doctors offices are often flooded with messages cancelling appointments. Flights are delayed. I never understand then why everyone feels they have to get out on the road and go, despite the fact it's dangerous and the likelihood of an accident is high. Wait it out. Let the plows do their jobs. Your boss isn't paying your car insurance or repairs if you're in an accident, right? So, take your time if you go in at all. Hit the road after the rush hour. Get out on the road when temperatures are safely above freezing so there's no "black ice" to worry about. Unless you are habitually out for any reason at all, many employers don't consider snow days as your personal days or sick days. If you can't get to work because you're under two feet of snow, there's a good chance everyone else is as well, including the boss. There's nothing more important than your safety and the safety of others.
As for you young, spoiled idiots who drive the trucks paid for by Mommy and Daddy, tell the victims of the car accidents that delayed your snowboarding trip that it was "no big deal." Go ahead and look them in the eye and tell them that. See where that gets you. And maybe when the snow and slush and salt is cleared off your vehicle after you cut off the snowplow, you'll find it has pitted the paint on your expensive vehicle and the sand, salt and grime has ground out your window motor and it won't open anymore.
I can only hope. Ya jerk!
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